
Be Kinder to Yourself: Progress Over PerfectionIf I had one thing to tell my younger self, it would be that: Be kinder to yourself. Progress over perfection. In our quest to be better and achieve more, we sometimes forget an important thing—life isn’t a race toward the finish line, but actually a prolonged process of learning and evolution. The sad truth is that perfection generally weighs us down rather than uplifts us. It is progress, not perfection, that shapes our future and brings ultimate joy.
Perfection Is an Illusion
Success is idealized everywhere in this world, be it professional, relationships, or personal goals. Due to this, a lot of pressure is put on us to meet these “perfect” standards, which makes us criticism-engaging to ourselves and observant of what we haven’t achieved instead of appreciating how far we’ve come. This perfectionism places fear in us about making mistakes and consequently stops us from taking any action altogether. But as Winston Churchill said so aptly, “Perfection is the enemy of progress.” What that simply means is that wanting to do things perfectly often makes an individual not do anything at all. Waiting for everything to be perfect before you act somehow won’t serve you well. It’s like waiting for the ocean to go still before you dive in: when it does, which is seldom, it will only be for a very short time.
In embracing progressive work, you give yourself permission to start the creative work, take risks, make errors, and learn.
The Art of Self-Compassion
In becoming more kind toward oneself, one is not letting oneself off the hook or accepting mediocrity. It means realizing that growth takes time and that it is okay if not everything is worked out immediately. That there will be setbacks and failures, which are part of the process.
An anecdote by Thomas Edison is always given to explain the ability of persistence in the case of failure. In fact, when people asked him about his many attempts at inventing the lightbulb, Edison replied, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” If Edison had stopped after the first few tries and thought he was worthless because he did not make it perfect on the first try, then history would be very different.
And in so doing, we learn to extend grace to ourselves. Perfectionism says we need to get it right the first time, every time. Progress tells us each step-forward, even the missteps-is one step closer to our goals. It is this kind of thinking that keeps us moving, even when the way ahead gets hard.
The Pitfall of Perfectionism
I, too, had fallen victim in my younger years to perfectionism. I remember feeling like everything I did—whether it was academics or maybe sports, or just personal things—had to be the best. And if not, then I wasn’t good enough. Mistakes that were so minute would keep haunting me, and instead of trying to dwell on what I could learn, I’d dwell on what I didn’t achieve.
I look at it offhand now and realize how much of that energy was wasted on self-criticism. Perfectionism did not make me better; it stressed me out, made me anxious, and afraid to take risks. I was mean to myself, and in the process, I passed up opportunities for growth. If I had focused on the progress rather than perfection, then I’d have celebrated actually small wins and saw setbacks as lessons, not failures.
Focus on the Process, Not the End
Something like that fits with the old parable about the tortoise and the hare: the hare can run fast but is confident and fails to prize his abilities, while the tortoise, though slow, can put in more persistence. In the end, it is the tortoise that wins the race—not because of his perfection or great speed, but his steady and consistent gait.
This parable helps us understand one valuable thing in its core: the constant, though slow and immensely unimportant-looking, improvement at some point will turn out to be more worthy than the bursts of perfectionism followed by a burnout. Life is not about racing to the finish line but about gaining pleasure and knowledge from every part of the race. Every small step forward is already a victory, and these steps bring on more and more through time to build a base of long-lasting success.
Practice Progress: Celebrating Small Battles by Shantell Jackson
Probably the most sufficient way to change this focus from perfectionism to progress is actively celebrating the small wins. It’s the small thing, like finally having done that task you’ve been putting off, or it’s taking the time to rest when your body needs it. No accomplishment is too minor and not worth acknowledging because for you, it propels you further. Just think of a baby the first time he learns to walk. They do not think of how wobbly they are or how many times they fall, but rather the joy of first steps. And each time they fall, they get up and try again, unbothered by the need to be perfect.
Learn to Rest—Not Quit
In our pursuit of progress, it is important to understand that rest is not a weakness but a need toward growth that is sustained. “You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing,” Angie Thomas said to her audience as motivational speaker and author. It resonates with the fact that our worth is not defined by how flawless we are but by resiliency, persistence, and our movement forward in life even though not everything may be perfect, end.
Take breaks whenever you need them; rest your body and mind when they need to. Progress is all about finding that balance and understanding that success isn’t an achievement done on a straight line. Rather, it is full of twists, turns, pauses, and restarts. Let yourself breathe again, recharge your energies, and then get back stronger.
Conclusion
Among these pieces of advice, which I would wish to convey to my younger self, is the issue of self-compassion and process orientation. It means being kinder to yourself, not lowering your standards, but rather understanding you are human and that growth is a process, not a destination. And perfection is just a mirage, while progress is tangible and real. Embracing each step, no matter how small, the journey too becomes rewarding as the goal. So be kind unto thine self, trust the process, and remember: progress over perfection.
Learn more about how to become a Top Performer at: ORL Leadership Summit 2024.
Dr. Prahlada N.B
MBBS (JJMMC), MS (PGIMER, Chandigarh).
MBA (BITS, Pilani), MHA,
Executive Programme in Strategic Management (IIM, Lucknow)
Senior Management Programme in Healthcare Management (IIM, Kozhikode)
Postgraduate Certificate in Technology Leadership and Innovation (MIT, USA)
Advanced Certificate in AI for Digital Health and Imaging Program (IISc, Bengaluru).
Senior Professor and former Head,
Department of ENT-Head & Neck Surgery, Skull Base Surgery, Cochlear Implant Surgery.
Basaveshwara Medical College & Hospital, Chitradurga, Karnataka, India.
My Vision: I don’t want to be a genius. I want to be a person with a bundle of experience.
My Mission: Help others achieve their life’s objectives in my presence or absence!
My Values: Creating value for others.
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